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I don't say much about mike not because he is not involved, but because i cant speak for him. Mike is very much involved and has his break downs like we all do. He is a very good father and Sadie loves him dearly. Mike and I were separated on D DAY and had been for awhile. But.... Regardless of our own issues and our pending divorce we came together for our baby girl and always will. I will not go into our personal issues but I want to make it known that I love mike and I always will. We don't talk about this situation with Sadie like we should but I think that's my fault. I'm a suffer in silence person and basically emotionally retarded when it comes to showing how I feel in my heart. Ive always been like that. People cant hurt you if you don't let them in. If you shut yourself off to the world then you don't have to deal with it. Not smart and not healthy but past hurts hardin a person to an extint and then it just becomes habit to shut yourself down. Point being, I love mike and I know he will always be there for Sadie and I both. I cant tell you how many single moms I have met on the cancer floor that have to leave there kid up there by themselves so they can go to work because they have no one else to help them. Just the emotional aspect of it alone has got to be pure agony. I may be incompetent when it comes to saying or showing how I feel, but at the end of the day I know I was not alone in this fight and that is a huge comfort. After 6 years of being together, mike and I have finally learned to be friends.
Thanyou babe. Haven't cried in a while for I try to b thar rock for you girls to stand on but you got me with this one and it felt good. Dispite poor choices I've made in the past you knew going into this the person I really am. I would do and will continue to do anything for you both, whatever it takes to win this fight for our princesss. You are not retarded with your feelings just gaurded and you have that right. Rest easy knowing I am here for the journey I will see this through one day at a time standing tall by your side. When the world turns it's back to you know I will b the one looking you square in the face with open arms. Sadie is lucky to have us both we put differences aside for her betterment, pulled together when she needed us and that says alot about our parenting and growing as individuals. I love you with all my heart and can't wait to reach the end of this with you. Team Sadie girl for life!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is WOW
ReplyDeleteJess you are very lucky to have mike as Sadie's daddy and like he said you two put differences aside for her and that is amazing parenting. You three have a long scary journey ahead but with love and faith you guys will kick cancers ass. All of you be strong and mike your right she is not retarded with her feelings. As a mom I could not imagine this nightmare Jess is living as well as you. I freak over a scrap on the knee and that literally is nothing. I know Jess and I have lost touch over the years but seeing the both of u at the benefit again made me realize how much I missed my friendship with her. I tell her she is lucky to have you around alot of women and children are with only one parent and that is scary alone not to mention if the child has such a long journey ahead that both biological parents need to e preset. So what I say to you: thank you for being a man. It's much apperciated. I pray for you as dad just as much as I pray for Sadie girl and Jess.
This is team Sadie girl for life no doubt.