Screw your protocol!!!

Induction was the first phase of sadies treatment. According to protocol, she didn't respond to treatment as fast as what reserchers say she should have, so she was bumped up to high risk. Most cancers have stages, but leukemia has risk categories and of course Sadie was considered high risk. This means that chemo treatment and doses double. When chemo is administered, the nurses come in all suited up for fear of getting it on there skin cause it is literally poison but I'm supposed to sit by and let them inject it into my childs veins and sign consents for life threatening side effects?? Not easy but what choice do I have?? As of February 23rd 2011, sadie has had 2 bone marrow aspirations, 8 spinal taps, 10 blood transfusions, 6 platelet transfusions, 80 doses of chemo, 60 doses of steroids, physical therapy, X-rays, MRI's, ECO's, EKG's, a staph infection, rsv, the stomach flu, and a bone fracture. We are only 5 months in with two more years of treatment left to go. I feel like she trades one problem for another. The side effects of these medicines and long term effects are scarier than the cancer itself. Some medicines say could cause a secondary cancer, heart problems, lung problems, kidney damage, liver damage, learning disabilities, central nervous system damage, and so on. And then to top it off they chime in with, "there are no guarantees". Chemo does not know the difference between good and bad cells so it kills them all leaving her with no immune system what-so-ever. Without an immune system you cant fight, without a fight, you cant win. Protecting her from infection Is a task in itself. I have always had OCD about cleanliness and I'm a huge germaphobe, but now I'm vacuuming the garage floor. Hilarious, but so true. My house is a sight to see, I have hospital hand sanitizer pumps hanging on the walls and spend hours a day cleaning what I just cleaned the night before. I have a hand washing how to hanging on the door for all to see before they enter. I soak Sadie in a bath filled with germ-x every night. Okay, I'm kidding about that one but if I could I swear I would. This is where the insanity comes in. I often ask myself "what the hell are you cleaning anyways, you just poured bleach on that same spot an hour ago.